Sophia going home - Day 104

I'm flying home today.
Actually traveling all the way back to Finland in less than 24h! When it took us over three months to make it here. It's surreal. I've tried not to think about tonight's flight before, but I guess I'm going to have to face it now.

I don't really have anything smart to say... I'm too sad and shocked that this trip really is over for me to write an interesting text about my experiences or some sort of summary. All that's going through my mind is all the things that are going to change 'back to normal'. But it doesn't feel normal to me. Normal is living out of a rinkka, always eating out, never knowing where you'll be the next week (the next day!), never knowing in what crazy situations you'll find yourself, having a hard time remembering in what city you slept in four nights ago, meeting new and interesting people all the time without making an effort to find them, wearing flipflops, not having to wear more then t-shirts and shorts whatever time of the day it is. Normal is never having to sleep alone. Normal is feeling like a huge, white and blonde giant. Normal is not understanding what people around you say and not be able to read the road signs. The list goes on and on...

And I haven't even mentioned the biggest change. Not seeing Ruut's and Hanna's faces all day, everyday. Not hearing their voices. Not laugh, talk, worry and eat with them. To wake up and not see their faces, Ruut's usually a bit (understatement) sulky and Hanna's impatient stare at me for being so slow to get ready for breakfast.
To always find something to laugh about... Oh, I can't write all the good stuff about these two. There's too much of it and it makes me too sad.
I'm so used to having them around, whatever mood I'm in or they're in. Always living on top of each other I've learned to be alone with them around. They don't have to leave to give me some alone time. So what will I do now I'm leaving them?!

Now I'm feeling so low I can't write anymore. 
I'm going home, I'm going home, I'm going home.
...it still doesn't feel real.

//S